Reita/Ruki - Gazette - The shadows of our past - Oneshot
Author: Sabina or Destiny or destiny_1989
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ghosts from Reita’s past come back to haunt him and Kai asks Ruki to find out why the bassist has been acting weird.
Warnings: major angst, child abuse, Aoi and Uruha retardedness
Pairings: Reita/Ruki
Disclaimer: I would be bathing in money if I owned them. So no sue from you.
Pre Notes: It’s really nasty when inspiration hits you at 12:45 in the morning and you have to get up the next day at 6 to go to school.



”Stop crying, boy! And stop calling for your mother! You know she’s not gonna come! Now shut up and take this like a man!” The child’s begging fell on deaf ears as he was ruthlessly beaten by the one he called father, the one who gave him life.

Sweat rolled over his body like he had been standing in a downpour of rain. The dream had caused him to wake so violently he bolted in a sitting position on the bed yelling to an invisible presence to stop. His erratic breathing calmed and with a long sigh he ran his fingers through his blond locks.

“Why did I dream that again? Why can’t I just forget about it and him?” He bent his knees and leaned his head on them, sobbing softly into the quiet night.

***

The smoking break was almost over and Ruki made his way back to the practice room. He didn’t acknowledge the song that could be heard in the room because of the creaking door. ”Gotta tell somebody to lubricate those hinges." As soon as the door was closed his ears were flooded by a female voice and he grimaced. He looked toward the source of the song and saw Aoi and Uruha staring like kids at the radio as if it was a truly fascinating object that no one has ever laid eyes on.

“What is it with you and your English song fetish?!” he asked the two guitarists, a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

Reita walked in then and also looked around surprised and his gaze remained fixed on the two guitarists and the vocalist who started talking.

“Hey, I like this song, that you very much!” Aoi said, feigning hurt. Uruha didn’t even move.

“Whatever.” Ruki passed them and the radio to get a water bottle.

“This chick has some set of lungs on her.” Ruki heard Aoi say. “Bet you would want to sound like her if you were a girl, eh, Ruki?” the brunette guitarist asked him with a smirk. Ruki nearly choked on the water he was drinking.

“Where did that come from?” he gasped. Both Aoi and Uruha got up and walked in front of him. “Have you been smoking catnip again?” he asked them raising an eyebrow.

“Nope. We’re clean.” answered Uruha.

“Did Uruha corrupt you to Smirnoff?” Ruki asked Aoi.

“For the love of Mother Carmichael, Ruki, we’re normal!” Aoi exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air all dramatic like.

“Mother Carmichael… Yes, Aoi, you’re very normal. That’s why I’ll diplomatically not answer your question.” Ruki tried to pass through them but they wouldn’t let him.

“No can do, Ru-chan. It’s two against one. It’s a simple yes or no question. Or is there something for which you wish you were a girl?” Ruki’s eyes widened at Uruha’s statement and he looked around the room for help. Kai sighed dejectedly and when Ruki’s eyes fell on Reita he saw the bassist was sitting on the couch with his head bowed and didn’t move an inch. His eyes lingered a bit on him them he looked away and cast an angry glare to Uruha.

“I am not a girl, nor will I be, nor do I want to be a girl. I am myself and I would never want to be anybody else. Now leave me alone for the rest of the week. You’ve pissed me off enough.” and he pushed past them, this time succeeding.

“Ruki.” Kai beckoned him with his index finger. The vocalist looked back at Uruha and Aoi and saw the two were transfixed on the radio once more.

“What is it, Kai?” he asked, approaching the drummer.

“Listen, Reita’s been acting a bit weird today. He hasn’t talked almost at all. And now, after he came in from the break he sat on the couch and suddenly got up and left.” Ruki looked around and, indeed, Reita was nowhere in the room. “Can you go look for him and see what’s wrong? I’ll keep the two stooges in here as long as I can.”

“Sure thing, Kai.” Ruki nodded and left.

The first thing he did was look out a window. Maybe Reita wanted to get some air. He saw the bassist in the parking lot in front of the studio getting into his car and driving off. ”Where is he going?”

Ruki opened the door to the practice room but didn’t go in. He psst-ed Kai, who looked in his direction. He told the drummer through sign language that Reita left and he was going after him. Kai nodded and Ruki left.

“We must begin a holy quest of uncovering Ruki’s secret! He clearly has one!” stated Uruha.

“We will uncover it or die trying!” Aoi agreed with him, throwing a fist in the air.

“First gather all your things and then you can go play.” Kai said sternly.

“The fate of the Universe depends on our finding out Ruki’s secret and you want us to put off our quest to gather our things?!” Aoi was flabbergasted.

“Kai, you will destroy us all!” Uruha joined in the dramatizing speech.

“The Universe can wait but I’ll be darn if I’ll clean up after you.” Kai said with a note of finality in his voice.

“If we gang up on him do you think we’ll be able to knock him out and escape?” Aoi whispered to Uruha.

“It’s worth a try.” Uruha whispered back.

Apparently they whispered too loud because a drum stick passed right between their heads and almost embedded itself in the wall.

“Don’t even think about it!” Kai sent them his bondage-master glare but it didn’t really have the desired effect of making them poop their pants because of the pink and white striped shirt he was wearing.

“Yes, mom.” Aoi and Uruha said simultaneously, bowing their heads in defeat.

***

Ruki didn’t know where to find the bassist, so he went where he first thought the blond would have gone: home. And it looked like he was spot on because Reita’s car was parked outside his apartment building. The thought that maybe the bassist went somewhere else after leaving his car had crossed Ruki’s mind but he soon dismissed it because he knew Reita was too lazy to go anywhere without his car. Even if he was upset.

So he went up to Reita’s apartment and knocked on his door. No answer. He knocked again. Still nothing. Ruki put his ear on the door and heard faint sounds coming from inside. So Reita didn’t want to answer the door. However, that didn’t stop Ruki. He remembered overhearing Reita talking to his sister and telling her he always kept a spare key under the doormat. Ruki looked under it and there it was.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside. What he heard from outside was a song. He took his shoes off and went deeper into the apartment, looking for Reita. He followed the song and came into Reita’s bedroom where he saw the bassist on the floor. He was leaning against the wall, knees against his chest, head resting on them and his arms kept his legs bent.

“Reita?”

The blond looked up, surprised someone was in his apartment. His eyes were red and he looked like he had been trying not to cry.

“What happened?” Ruki squatted next to him, cupping his face with one hand. Reita kept looking at him in surprise and didn’t notice he let his tears flow until Ruki pulled him into an embrace and told him not to cry.

Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Hearing the familiar lyrics and feeling Ruki’s hand rubbing his back, Reita couldn’t stand it anymore and let his tears flow with the anguish he felt inside. Maybe like this he’ll finally be able to move on.

Ruki held his friend while he cried and his heart broke to see the normally badass bassist in this state. He would wait until he calmed down thoroughly to ask him everything. Five minutes later Reita was still sobbing but he seemed to have gotten a hold of himself.

“Rei, what happened?” Ruki asked him moving a few blond bangs that stuck to his tear stained cheeks.

Two more sobs passed his lips before he started talking. He owed Ruki an explanation for what just happened and why he left the studio like he had.

“This is the song Aoi and Uruha were listening to in the practice room when I came back from the break. Some time ago I knew it inside out. It was like my anthem.” He took a deep breath. “I haven’t told anyone about this. When I was a kid, about 11 years old, my dad started drinking. He would come home and beat me. When my mom stood up for me, she would get beaten even worse. Soon she would leave the house when my dad started beating me. When I asked her why she let him, she would tell me to leave her alone, that I couldn’t possibly understand.” His voice was shaky and his eyes were threatening to shed tears once more. Ruki stared at him and pieced the puzzle together.

“That’s why at our first interview you didn’t mention your father when they asked you about your family…”

Reita nodded. “This song describes perfectly how I felt and how I feel now towards my dad and when I heard it today, everything just hit me like a tone of bricks. And if you add to that the dream I had last night about a beating I got long ago, it was too much to handle.” he finished with a sigh.

Silence fell over the room as both the song and Reita’s story ended. Everything was still until Ruki’s voice was heard. It sounded so small as if he were afraid something would break if he spoke louder. “Reita, you’ve kept this all bottled up inside until now. Why?” He took the bassist in his arms again, one arm encircling his waist and one coming around his shoulders, his hand threading through Reita’s hair. “We would have helped you get over it. I would have helped you get over it…”

“Ruki…” Reita raised his head and looked at the vocalist with wide eyes. He felt he would drown in Ruki’s deep eyes and he didn’t know what he was doing until he found himself kissing the brunette vocalist. It wasn’t hungry or aggressive; it was soft and almost shy. But he dared lick Ruki’s lips and as he felt them part, his tongue explored the vocalist’s sweet mouth. He tasted faintly of cigarettes too but that didn’t bother Reita. It was Ruki’s taste and that was all that mattered.

When they ended the kiss, they looked at each other’s faces, in each other’s eyes and saw the same thing: love and care.

“Rei, will you let me help you forget the ghosts of your past?” Ruki asked him stroking his cheek.

Reita smiled. “I would love nothing more.” He leaned in and kissed Ruki again, this time the kiss being more passionate, sealing the promise the brunette made.

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me


Post Notes:
1. “What is it with you and your English song fetish?!” --> a little I wanna have your babies pun. XP
2. The song Aoi and Uruha were listening to and reminded Reita of his feelings toward his dad is Kelly Clarckson’s “Because of you”. Such a beautiful song. *wipes tear*
3. The lyrics at the end are from Kelly Clackson’s “You found me”.
4. I remember reading somewhere on Reita’s profile that at the “Family” section there were listed only mother, grandmother and older sister. I have no idea why father wasn’t listed and this is my take on it – wanting to forget about him.